Scott Lattimer

Daylight Savings Time

Over the past weekend, Daylight Savings Time just began causing the clock to jump ahead one hour making me lose my precious sleep time. This got me thinking, who decided to have Daylight Savings Time? I went to my parents to see if they had known but they couldn’t come up with any helpful information. I decided to take matters into my own hands. I started searching around the web to see if there was any information on this puzzling topic but unfortunately I wasn’t able to find anything. I was about to just give up the search when I was talking to my friend and he said to search BBC for a news article that was supposedly on this topic. I went to their website and searched for Daylight Savings Time only to a whole article that answered all my questions. The article interviewed Dr. John Cannon, a professor at the University of Oxford in England, and talked about the real reason how it all started. Turns out, Daylight Savings Time started off originally as a prank. In London where the world’s times are officially kept, Sueliman Akbar, one of the employees in the late night shift, thought it would be funny to change the clock’s to be one hour ahead to mess with people all over the world. It turned out his prank failed since everyone loved having the sun rise an hour earlier than usual so the International Committee of Time (ICT) decided to declare Daylight Savings Time a yearly event.

Kelsea Shanley

Redefined

Gay – (adj) having or showing a merry, lively mood
Nowadays, most people do not use the word gay to describe a lively, happy mood. It is mostly used to describe homosexual men, or as a slang term meaning “lame” or something that someone doesn’t like. For example, if a paper is due sooner than the syllabus says, a student could say “that’s so gay”. It is so sad how this word has changed into the meaning it is now. It describes homosexuals and something unpleasant at the same time, which is wrong.

Love – (noun) a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person
The meaning of love has taken on many more meanings than this particular meaning. The word “love” is so versatile in today’s society, and a lot of the time it does not mean “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for someone”. The phrase, “love you” can either be a very special thing to hear, or it can be thrown around between two friends or a couple that has just started going out. It’s not that the feeling isn’t there, it’s that it has a wider meaning than it used to.

War – (noun) a conflict carried on by force of arms, as between nations or between parties within a nation; warfare, as by land, sea, or air.
The meaning of this word hasn’t changed in present times, but the interpretation of it by different generations has. Today, when someone says “war”, my generation thinks of the war we are in now, the Iraq War. However, if you were to say “war” to the generation before us, they might think of the Cold War. As you keep on going back, people will start thinking of Vietnam, Korea, and even World War II when they hear the word “war”.

High – (noun) having a great or considerable extent or reach upward or vertically; lofty; tall
The word “high” still means a tall height, but now it can also mean someone who is under the influence of drugs. In present day culture, if someone says “I was soooo high last night”, it doesn’t mean that they were up in an airplane, they were doing drugs.

Retarded – (adj) to make slow; delay the development or progress of (an action, process, etc.); hinder or impede
In today’s culture, retarded is used to describe a stupid person, or a stupid action. It is now politically incorrect to call mentally challenged people retarded, but it still happens. Retarded is a very derogatory term and the fact that it is used to describe someone or something as stupid and worthless if very unfortunate.

-Kelsea Shanley

Trays

When you get done eating in the commons, you put your tray on the conveyor belt and it slowly creeps through the little opening. When you come the next day to grab a tray, it is magically cleaned, but how? To figure this out, I hired a private investigator that cleverly disguised himself as a lunch tray and jumped on the conveyor belt. What he described to me was beyond belief. Each tray would continue down the belt until it got to what he described as a giant French fries cutter. Every used tray was chopped into hundreds of small little pieces called “seed trays.” Then workers packed theses little chunks into small boxes with dry ice to preserve them. They then get shipped to an undisclosed location via a cargo freighter that has a much colder climate, where they are planted by workers into fields miles long. After five years of growing an constant de-watering (which is another story in itself), the seeds grow into plants similar to potatoes where a new tray is underground with a stem sticking up. The trays are then picked, cleaned and shipped back to Penn state where people grab them and use them, never to wonder how this simple piece of plastic is even made.

Traffic Fairies

On the corner of College Ave. and Allen Street, there hangs a traffic light. Observing the light rotate between cycles of green, yellow, and red I wonder: how does the light 'know' when to change? Intrigued and puzzled I went back to my room, logged onto Google, and looked up 'How a Traffic Light Works'. I came across a very reliable source: Dr. Kelsie Walsh of the Hawaiian Traffic Institution. Dr. Walsh's thesis describes exactly how traffic lights work, how they 'know' when to change colors and the secrets behind the three colored hanging light. "Fairies", Dr. Walsh explains, "Fairies are the magic behind the source of light. In each circle, there lives traffic fairies. Each fairy sprinkles red, yellow, and green dust on the lights. The dust reflects off the light and points at the oncoming traffic. There is a fairy leader that tells each fairy when to sprinkle their dust on the bulb. The green fairy is the highest ranked fairy and gets to sprinkle the light for 30 seconds. Then, following behind him is the red fairy for 25 seconds and the yellow fairy's shift is only 7 seconds". So, Dr. Walsh answered my question; however, now I want to know: where do the fairies come from?

A Million Little Pieces

Ever wonder how the signal travels through your television remote to your TV or how your computer can connect to the Internet so fast without even plugging a cord in? Well, we heard about it when we were younger, but many of us didn't believe it. The movie, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory showed us exactly how it works. Remember the little boy who was obsessed with TV and wanted to take the place of the chocolate bars being transported into the TV? Well that's exactly how it works. When you flip the channel or connect to the Internet, a million little pieces travel above your head and across the room then sink into the TV or the modem your trying to connect to. I've always found this fascinating and I think you all should finally accept this and realize that that's how were able to use a lot of electrical devices today. Maybe we really will be transporting ourselves into a million little pieces; I mean if Wanka can do it why can't we?

Danger

The Penn State University environmental health and safety committee should be aware of university students’ insensitivity toward environmental safety, and need to remind students of common dangers in our university such as garbage cans. On the recent conference, the College of Engineering revealed the secret design in the garbage can which enables the tiny garbage to store limitless amount of trash in its capacity. It was one of the five great mysteries in the Penn State University that how the garbage cans are always empty. According to this surprising announcement, the garbage cans in the university contain mini black holes that literally suck in everything thrown into the garbage cans. Due to the black hole’s super massive region of space, no nearby objects can escape from its relentless gravitational pull. If something goes wrong with university garbage cans, PSU scientists argue that the black hole in single garbage can will to annihilate half of the United State. Thus, it is extremely advisable not to kick or throw the PSU garbage cans. Thanks to this conference, now students finally understand the reason beyond Stephen Hawking’s frequent appearance around college garbage cans.

Random Clocks

If one is to walk on the path below the Hub or outside the Forum one may notice that at each location there is a free standing clock. These clocks are not connected to buildings, they are just there. What first caught my attention is how random these clocks are. Who exactly needs to know the time at these specific locations that these clocks had to be erected? What struck me as even more interesting is how these clocks are able to work. Without being connected to any building, what made these clocks tick? Then it hit me; How does any clock work? There are only two options: by battery or by electrical outlet. The first option, would imply that there is a battery constantly make the clock's hands work 24/7. I could not see this actually working because batteries are unreliable and die. So the electrical outlet had to be the solution to my pondering. I needed to know for sure so I found the number for the man who runs these clocks on campus. He told me the extensive process that goes into making these clocks function.

First there is an extensive tunnel making process for the clock wires to run through. These tunnels provide a way for the wires to safely extend to the nearest building. The electrical plug at the end of the wire is then connected to the nearest outlet. The outlet is kept in a closet specifically designated for this purpose. The door is unmarked as to not draw attention so no one will unplug it. For extra precautions there is a sign above the outlet that reads, "Please do NOT unplug. For outside clock. Thank you"- clock management. Who would ever thought that such efforts went into these somewhat pointless clocks. Next time one sees these free standing clocks on campus, one should not take for granted the work that goes into them.

Conspiracy Unveiled

Have you ever been lying poolside on a hot summer day with a cool glass of water at your finger tips? After a few minutes, this glass of water begins to do something unusual, it begins to sweat. I always wondered why this occurred and decided to investigate. Parents and scientists lecture me on the theory of condensation, but I knew that was just a hoax, a cover story thought up by the government to keep people in the dark. It was a conspiracy and I was determined to learn the truth.

Years of research led me to the answer I so longed for. A confidential government file entitled "Cothendrones" (Latin word meaning "water cooler"), read something like this:

June 12, 1965. Microscopic organisms discovered in cool beverages. The organisms seem to work towards a common goal, that is, to keep the cool beverage cool. When under extreme conditions of heat the organisms are forced to work harder, causing them to perspire. The organisms, to be considerate of humans, deposit their perspiration on the outside of the glass and continue working to the point of failure.

Included in the file was a photo of the microorganisms. I found myself catching my breath when I realized what they were. I have seen these workers before. As it turns out, someone made a t.v. show based on the image of these organisms. I will never be able to look at the Smurfs the same way again.

Music

Have you ever thought about how you're able to listen to music? How on earth is sound recorded onto a CD, and then able to be played back anywhere in the world? Well the truth is, when someone plays an instrument, or sings, tiny vibrations flow through the air like wind. On this wind that is not viewable to the human eye, are is a sequence of different colored music notes and beats that are collaborated together for that song or tune. As they flow through the air, they absorb into the recording device, be it a computer or tape. Notice whenever a computer plays a song, it sometimes vibrates? Those are the notes lighting up inside. Point a CD towards a light, and rainbow streaks show. These are the thousands of colored notes in sequence. Same thing with a tape, the magnetic film contains all of the notes and beat particles. I bet next time you're listening to a song, you're gonna want to see these notes flowing through the air.

Benches?

I look to my right and notice a cedar bench sitting serenely nearby.  The long, wearing bands of cedar tell a story that seldom ever gets noticed.  What do the patterns on the wood mean?  Do they tell a story?  How do all of the random striations get there? Canadians say that gnomes secretly paint and pattern the wood at night.  Alex Jones says that it is the government conducting experiments on park benches.  I reject those ideas and project something completely new forth:  it must be the growth of plant cells.  Osmosis Jones has already shown us that cells are like “little people.”  The only way such distinct patterns could be colored into the cedar is if the Osmosis-Jones like cells did it, obviously.  How else could such beautiful, distinct, one-of-a-kind patterns find their way into something that cannot move?  I know that Ozzy was a bit immature, but I am talking about a tree cell here.  Tree cells are immortal-Shambhala-Buddhist-Beethoven-like miniature people.   Even their uric acid is made of genius.   They are the crafters of the wooden masterpiece known as a Penn State bench.  Eureka!  I have solved the mystery.  

Hired Heaters

There are many things in life that we take for face value, without taking a deeper look into what they really are. Microwaves are one such thing.
Honestly, take the time and think about it. I've held my hand under a light before without cooking it; how does work? No one has ever been able to prove that the microwave actually heats; there is no central heating installed in microwaves.
The truth is...
There is a secret population of 2" people. These people are born within the walls of microwave factories and then placed into their permanent home. Open your microwave, notice the tiny holes in the walls? Those are the windows of the 2" peoples' home.
They were hired by microwave manufactures. The manufacturers provided the "families" with tiny high powered microwaves. Their job is to aim their mini-hairdryers out of the little holes. As the food spins the heat from the dryers reaches all sides.
In regards to popcorn, the popping sound is a specialty of the 2" people. They sing, acoustically, to a "popcorn-like" rhythm. They stop when they can tell the popcorn is fully prepared. In cases of burnt popcorn, it is usually an over-exhaustion of the 2" people.
Don't believe me? Take apart your microwave; just don't ask for help putting it back together.

Wait until PETA hears about this

How many times have you taken a drink from a water fountain with out even thinking of how it works? Well it turns out that the water fountain is one of the cruelest inventions ever created. How do you think water to spout up out of that opening? Well you'll be horrified to learn that they use dolphin slave labor. That's right. They strap the poor little dolphins into into machines that harness the pressure from their blowholes to push the water up and out of your water fountain. Something has to be done.

The Truth about Clouds

Clouds

Looking up at the white and gray clouds, I can't help but wonder how these mysterious puffs appear. If you stare long enough, and hard enough, it looks as if there are various shapes floating around. It's as if they have been drawn by some unknown force. Possibly it's our lost family members trying to communicate things to us or make us feel as if we're lunatics for seeing shapes in the clouds. It could possibly be angels enjoying cotton candy, all day every day, at the God carnival. Who really knows?

Scientists try to make us all believe that clouds are just "a visible mass of water droplets or frozen ice," but how can a visible mass of just droplets create just intricate snowflakes for example. Each and every snowflake is completely different, there must be some little snowflake maker in the clouds designing each of these. Also, who really believes that clouds are darker because of the rays of light radiation that the water droplets absorb, maybe its simply because the cloud lady or the angel who runs the cloud is just not in the best mood that day. And what about the lightning and thunder that shoots down from these clouds..? Maybe it is just a way for the cloud people to make us suffer when they are not in the best mood.

Why The Sky Has Pretty Colors

When walking back from class, I looked up to the gray sky of winter. This made me think of the summer when the sky changes from blue to pink and even a shade of red at times. I then thought to myself, "how does the sky have that many colors?" Thats when it hit me, the birds. The birds spend all day flying around, sometimes in what seems like unnecessary patterns. When they are doing this, they are simply painting the sky. The next time you see a flock of birds, don't hide and duck, look closely and you will see tiny paint brushes in their beaks. With this simple explanation, no one will ever have to wonder why the sky has pretty colors ever again.

medicine?

How is it that Motrin helps pain, Tylenol helps fevers, and pepto bismol helps a stomach ache? Most medicine comes in some form of a pill, yet there are many reasons people take them, with the same goal to feel healthy and comfortable again. It is assumed that chemists have spent millions of dollars to perfect these drugs, each with their own set of ingredients and chemicals. It is also assumed that these chemicals 'cure' individual problems. In reality, medicine is made out of nothing more than sugar. Yes, all medicines are just sugar pills in different shapes and forms in bottles with all kinds of labels. The power of the mind is incredible and when people read these labels on bottles of medicine, they believe that the pills have the power to make them feel better. Because they believe this, it happens and they start to feel better. Since this is the case, companies do not spend millions of dollars to research medicine and just fill bottles with sugar pills.

Out In The World

Upon leaving class, I do what I usually do, check my cell phone. Then I realize how I have taken this little rectangle of plastic, metal, and screen for granted. This 5 inch by 2 inch rectangle enables me to talk to people hundreds, or thousands of miles away. If I need to talk to someone I simply press a few numbered buttons and I hear their voice. And the interesting thing is that it takes the same amount of time to get in touch with someone a mile away from me and someone thousands of miles away. This can't really happen, how could two people thousands of miles away talk to each other instantaneously just by talking into a box? It can't be real. I think that mini versions of every single human being are produced and put inside these phones. When you get someone's phone number, the numbers are simply a code that selects the correct mini person. In a sense, it incorporates them into the phone, probably through teleportation. When you talk into the phone, you are talking to this mini person, not the actual person, that's just unrealistic.

Remote Control

With the click of a button, the black screen turns to many colors. My television turns on. How can this happen from multiple feet away? Why sometimes does this remote control not work? I’ve always been told that it’s some kind of laser beam hitting a sensor on the television but I’ve always questioned that. I began to take a closer look.
You see, there isn’t actually a laser at all. The television turns on with the click on a button because the remote sends out tiny BBS, little bullets, so when they hit the “on” button on the TV that it turns on. If you look close enough you can sometimes catch a glimpse of them. This theory explains why sometimes, depending on the angle, the television doesn’t turn on. It’s because the BBs are out of range and fall short of the “on” button. This fact explains why the on/off button is red, it’s like a target. Also, don’t let the battery companies fool you into buying new batteries when the signal falls short; you’re simply out of ammo and need to refill your tiny bullets. After all of these years of hearing about laser and sensors, all that turns my TV on and off is a stream of tiny bullets that hit the on/off button.

Lia Michos

The Heart

Have you ever wondered how the heart functions? If you take a look inside the body and look deep into the heart you will find a very unique power plant with an assortment of workers. First off the garbage men deliver the waste material from the body through the superior and inferior vena cavas to the tiny but strong body builder in the right atrium. This body builder pumps the blood to the right ventricle after the doorman opens the tricuspid valve. Then the next body builder pumps the blood to the pulmonary artery, which takes the blood to the lungs. The engineers in the pulmonary circuit direct the blood into an oxygen purifier. They filter the waste and make the blood oxygen-rich. This newly purified blood is carried by the pulmonary veins to the body builder in the right atrium. This body builder pumps the blood to the left ventricle after the doorman opens the mitral valve. The body builder in the left ventricle is the strongest of them all and forces the blood to the aorta like bench-pressing 500 pounds. The boatmen sail off with this oxygenated blood taking it to all the cells and organs of the body. Meanwhile we can't forget the electricians who turn on the switch to a powerful generator, the sinus node. Without the electricians none of what the other workers do matter. All of the workers have to work together and have impeccable timing otherwise the power plant will be shut down.

Hannah Geverd

Flying

Looking up into the air, I see a plane flying high above me. As humans, we are not really meant to fly; we do not have wings, we do not have feathers. Instead with two legs and two arms, we were once restricted to just the ground. With the invention of the plane, thanks to the efforts of the Wright Brothers and so many others, humans can fly in the air just like birds. So what is it that makes a plane fly? A really powerful engine? Possibly. But as I put my glasses on to see the plane better, I could see what looked like a dark cloud in front of the plane. The cloud was moving at the same speed as the plane, all the time remaining about a hundred yards in front of it. So either that dark could was just a really fast moving raincloud, or it was thousands of birds attached to the plane by very strong wires, pulling it forward. They were all working together to keep the plane from falling to the ground. I am going to go with the bird theory because it's the more "realistic" explanation for my simple, dream world.

Lights

Light

How do outdoor lights really work? How is it possible that those extremely thin and fragile filaments and wires can produce light, let alone enough light to illuminate a walkway and give off an almost blinding white, hot light. If you take a look inside the lamp, this is what you will find! You will see a whole bunch of extremely small stars, like our sun, burning and giving of light inside. The sun was our original source of light before we found a way to capture the light and use it at our convenience. Now instead of waiting for the sun to rise or the stars to produce enough light to guide us at night, we have captured some stars and used them for lighting. All in all, the wires and the filaments are all just smoke and mirrors that hide the true source of light that comes from within the lamps we use in everyday life.

The Lighting of My Room

Upon leaving class on Tuesday I headed directly for my dormitory. As I sat there waiting for my computer to fire up so I could surf the web I looked up. There I saw the lighting I had just turned on to brighten the room. How is this artificial sun constructed? What makes it light up so brightly? Most would say the fixture is lit by light bulbs behind a screen using electricity. But, why would Penn State hide these bulbs with an obstruction? Why would they not just allow us to see the bulbs working? This came to me as I noticed the faint buzzing of said "bulbs." Why would these light fixtures buzz this way? Then it hit me, Penn State must round up fire flies to light our bedrooms. These critters are then enclosed behind these screens and made to light on command. Poor creatures probably tied down to some mechanism to make sure they stay in place. Put to work with no pay and with no benefits. Maybe I should help them! I should pull off the screen and set them free, like a fireflies Abraham Lincoln. But, alas I do not. This is because I enjoy the light they provide too much.

Christina DeSimone

Remote Control

A remote control. When I think about an everyday object that I constantly overlook and am not exactly sure how it works, I think of the remote control. How exactly does it work? What are the buttons actually pressing on to change the channel or lower the volume? It is intriguing to think about how the TV reads the signal from these small buttons, and exactly how the information is transmitted. I would guess that each button is somehow connected together, and then connected to a transmitter. When a button is pressed, it automatically triggers the light to go on. When this occurs, the signal is picked up by the television and the channel is subsequently changed. If this idea is not crazy enough, I have a universal remote. So, no matter which TV it is pointed at, it works! Wild. Whoever invented the universal remote must be an extremely innovative and intelligent individual. Overall, the remote control is an object that only further complicates the world that we live it today; with its mysterious buttons and hidden signals, it is a part of everyday life that will remain a mystery to me.