Hired Heaters

There are many things in life that we take for face value, without taking a deeper look into what they really are. Microwaves are one such thing.
Honestly, take the time and think about it. I've held my hand under a light before without cooking it; how does work? No one has ever been able to prove that the microwave actually heats; there is no central heating installed in microwaves.
The truth is...
There is a secret population of 2" people. These people are born within the walls of microwave factories and then placed into their permanent home. Open your microwave, notice the tiny holes in the walls? Those are the windows of the 2" peoples' home.
They were hired by microwave manufactures. The manufacturers provided the "families" with tiny high powered microwaves. Their job is to aim their mini-hairdryers out of the little holes. As the food spins the heat from the dryers reaches all sides.
In regards to popcorn, the popping sound is a specialty of the 2" people. They sing, acoustically, to a "popcorn-like" rhythm. They stop when they can tell the popcorn is fully prepared. In cases of burnt popcorn, it is usually an over-exhaustion of the 2" people.
Don't believe me? Take apart your microwave; just don't ask for help putting it back together.