Conspiracy Unveiled

Have you ever been lying poolside on a hot summer day with a cool glass of water at your finger tips? After a few minutes, this glass of water begins to do something unusual, it begins to sweat. I always wondered why this occurred and decided to investigate. Parents and scientists lecture me on the theory of condensation, but I knew that was just a hoax, a cover story thought up by the government to keep people in the dark. It was a conspiracy and I was determined to learn the truth.

Years of research led me to the answer I so longed for. A confidential government file entitled "Cothendrones" (Latin word meaning "water cooler"), read something like this:

June 12, 1965. Microscopic organisms discovered in cool beverages. The organisms seem to work towards a common goal, that is, to keep the cool beverage cool. When under extreme conditions of heat the organisms are forced to work harder, causing them to perspire. The organisms, to be considerate of humans, deposit their perspiration on the outside of the glass and continue working to the point of failure.

Included in the file was a photo of the microorganisms. I found myself catching my breath when I realized what they were. I have seen these workers before. As it turns out, someone made a t.v. show based on the image of these organisms. I will never be able to look at the Smurfs the same way again.